helbling: (vampire)
[personal profile] helbling

We're in a service station 2 hours north of Reykjavik - Doug and I are the only ones left wandering around the section of it that's a shop, the other members of our tour, most of them frighteningly middle aged and middle class, are sat on the other side drinking coffee and making chit chat.

"Awww," Doug says, as we're stood near a pile of cuddly toys - he plucks out a beanie baby shaped like a fur seal pup and presents it to me.

"Awww," I say in agreement. Then, without adding anything, I grasp it by the tail and swing it so it's head beats firmly against the wood of the table, in much the same way as you might put a freshly caught mackerel out of its misery.

Doug is staring at me in shock and a sort of mirthful horror. "What," his voice can't make up its mind what tone he wants. "Are you doing?!"

I regard him somberly. "Clubbing a seal pup," I tell him with gravitas. "I'm told that's what people do in the north.

I pause. Then I add "Also, I ate that entire sharing bag of malteasers and have been made to sit still for 2 hours."

And that, your honour, is why Doug is afraid to let me lose in Icelandic service stations without supervision.
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June 2016

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