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Who wants to hear about all the good shit that happened today? BECAUSE A LOT OF GOOD SHIT HAPPENED TODAY, GENTLEFOLK, AND IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I CAN SAY THAT, SO FUCK YEAH, YOU'RE GETTING A LIST. AND JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, LET'S COCKSLAP THIS, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
1) I MOTHERFUCKING CAME OUT AS BI TO MY FAMILY. THEY WERE AWESOME AND SUPPORTIVE ABOUT THIS.
2) I MOTHERFUCKING CAME OUT AS POLY TO MY FAMILY. THEY WERE CONFUSED, BUT STILL AWESOME AND SUPPORTIVE ABOUT THIS, AND THERE WERE LOTS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT WHO OF MY FRIENDS I HAVE SLEPT WITH. THEY ACTUALLY GOT MORE CONFUSED WHEN THEY LEARNED I WAS NOT SHAGGING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
3) I SPENT LAST NIGHT WITH A DOGGIE ON MY BED. SHE WOKE ME UP THREE TIMES AND GAVE ME A HEADACHE FROM OVERHEATING, BUT I STILL GOT DOGGIE KISSES.
4) I GOT JAFFA CUDDLES. AND THEREFORE SPOTTED A GREAT WHOPPING TICK ON HIS NECK THAT NO ONE ELSE HAD NOTICED BECAUSE HE'D BEEN AVOIDING EVERYONE ELSE, BUT HE CANNOT RESIST MUMMY CUDDLES, SO I PINNED HIM DOWN AND MANAGED TO REMOVE IT, AND HE ONLY SULKED FOR LIKE AN HOUR BEFORE FORGIVING ME AND COMING BACK TO DRIBBLE ALL OVER ME WITH HAPPY.
5) I DROVE BACK TO BATH IN UNDER 2 HOURS. FUCK YEAH.
6) I GOT TO SPEND A GOOD FEW HOURS HANGING OUT WITH SOME PEOPLE FROM TEAM ME, AND IT WAS AWESOME TO SEE PEOPLE AND JUST CHILL THE FUCK OUT. ALSO DOMINION. WHICH I APPEAR DOOMED TO FOREVER COME SECOND IN.
7) I HAVE AWESOME BEAUTIFUL PEARL EARRINGS THAT WERE GIVEN TO ME BY CAT. FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN SHE'S AMAZING.
8) "BUT I THOUGHT PANTOMIME WAS A BUNCH OF MIMES ALL DOING THINGS TOGETHER ON STAGE? ISN'T THAT WHAT DOUG'S GOING TO BE DOING?" DEAR FLO: YOU ARE BRILLIANT, NEVER CHANGE.
9) I MADE IT UP TO THE PUB AFTER LARP, AND GOT TO SAY HI TO PEOPLE. AND ASSISTED IN RESCUING SAM'S WALLET FROM A SEAGULL TRYING TO EAT IT.
10) OH YEAH, GUESS WHO BROUGHT HER FLUTE HOME NOW SHE HAS TIME TO FUCKING RELEARN HOW TO PLAY IT AGAIN? HELL YEAH, EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION MUTHERFUCKER.
11) OH, AND CAME HOME AND ONLY MANAGED TO GO FOR A JOG. HELL YEAH.
12) UNDERWATER HOCKEY TOMORROW.
13) AND GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY WITH PEOPLES ON WEDNESDAY.
14) AND I ONLY HAVE TO WORK UNTIL WEDNESDAY - OH DID I NOT MENTION THAT? YEAH. HOLIDAY MUTHERFUCKER! WITH THREE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.
SO, THAT WAS A GOOD WEEKEND. AND IT WILL BE A GOOD WEEK. AND I'M FUCKING GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH THE SELF CARE, BECAUSE I WAS GETTING PRETTY FUCKING FED UP WITH STANDING STILL. SO HELL YEAH.
1) I MOTHERFUCKING CAME OUT AS BI TO MY FAMILY. THEY WERE AWESOME AND SUPPORTIVE ABOUT THIS.
2) I MOTHERFUCKING CAME OUT AS POLY TO MY FAMILY. THEY WERE CONFUSED, BUT STILL AWESOME AND SUPPORTIVE ABOUT THIS, AND THERE WERE LOTS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT WHO OF MY FRIENDS I HAVE SLEPT WITH. THEY ACTUALLY GOT MORE CONFUSED WHEN THEY LEARNED I WAS NOT SHAGGING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
3) I SPENT LAST NIGHT WITH A DOGGIE ON MY BED. SHE WOKE ME UP THREE TIMES AND GAVE ME A HEADACHE FROM OVERHEATING, BUT I STILL GOT DOGGIE KISSES.
4) I GOT JAFFA CUDDLES. AND THEREFORE SPOTTED A GREAT WHOPPING TICK ON HIS NECK THAT NO ONE ELSE HAD NOTICED BECAUSE HE'D BEEN AVOIDING EVERYONE ELSE, BUT HE CANNOT RESIST MUMMY CUDDLES, SO I PINNED HIM DOWN AND MANAGED TO REMOVE IT, AND HE ONLY SULKED FOR LIKE AN HOUR BEFORE FORGIVING ME AND COMING BACK TO DRIBBLE ALL OVER ME WITH HAPPY.
5) I DROVE BACK TO BATH IN UNDER 2 HOURS. FUCK YEAH.
6) I GOT TO SPEND A GOOD FEW HOURS HANGING OUT WITH SOME PEOPLE FROM TEAM ME, AND IT WAS AWESOME TO SEE PEOPLE AND JUST CHILL THE FUCK OUT. ALSO DOMINION. WHICH I APPEAR DOOMED TO FOREVER COME SECOND IN.
7) I HAVE AWESOME BEAUTIFUL PEARL EARRINGS THAT WERE GIVEN TO ME BY CAT. FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN SHE'S AMAZING.
8) "BUT I THOUGHT PANTOMIME WAS A BUNCH OF MIMES ALL DOING THINGS TOGETHER ON STAGE? ISN'T THAT WHAT DOUG'S GOING TO BE DOING?" DEAR FLO: YOU ARE BRILLIANT, NEVER CHANGE.
9) I MADE IT UP TO THE PUB AFTER LARP, AND GOT TO SAY HI TO PEOPLE. AND ASSISTED IN RESCUING SAM'S WALLET FROM A SEAGULL TRYING TO EAT IT.
10) OH YEAH, GUESS WHO BROUGHT HER FLUTE HOME NOW SHE HAS TIME TO FUCKING RELEARN HOW TO PLAY IT AGAIN? HELL YEAH, EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION MUTHERFUCKER.
11) OH, AND CAME HOME AND ONLY MANAGED TO GO FOR A JOG. HELL YEAH.
12) UNDERWATER HOCKEY TOMORROW.
13) AND GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY WITH PEOPLES ON WEDNESDAY.
14) AND I ONLY HAVE TO WORK UNTIL WEDNESDAY - OH DID I NOT MENTION THAT? YEAH. HOLIDAY MUTHERFUCKER! WITH THREE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.
SO, THAT WAS A GOOD WEEKEND. AND IT WILL BE A GOOD WEEK. AND I'M FUCKING GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH THE SELF CARE, BECAUSE I WAS GETTING PRETTY FUCKING FED UP WITH STANDING STILL. SO HELL YEAH.
